Update

I love LA.

I love the LA Lakers.

I’ve been stressing a lot lately. The last week hasn’t been too bad.

Work > Finances > Relationship
and then it starts all over again. It’s the cyyyycle!

I broke out of it for a week but then it has reared its ugly head. Kinda like one of those things where… you think you worked it all out but in reality it worked you?

Don’t know if that makes any sense.

This past weekend, other than work, I really have no idea what to do with myself. There are so many things I want to do but I think I just forgot about a lot of them. …now that I have the time, I might as well make myself useful and do what I’ve got to do…

<3

Relationships, man. They’re a pain in the ass, but they are the greatest pains ever. Growing pains.

As far as my relationship with Bur is concerned, everything’s starting to pan out. We hit a really big rough spot and it’s been pretty bad. At least it was pretty bad for me. Walking out and leaving. Ugh. I guess when you need time though, you need time. We’re great now. We’re getting along well… we’re working together. It’s exciting when you have partnership created in a relationship. Sounds stupid, though, no? What’s a relationship without partnership?

I’ve been finding that I’ve been growing new ideas for the resty and the catering company. I’m just not sure if there is a space for me to put them out. Last time I made a mention of it, I felt shot down.

Perseverance, yo.

Nursing school > Medical school/Marriage or both > Clinic > Home > Kids

Ready to get the damn thing done.

Tired of dilly dallying. Dilly dally. Dilly dally. Dilly dally. Dilly dally, no more!

Consequence.

Time to start getting into gear for school.
I was going to wait until August.
There is no better time than now.
Why wait?
Starting June 1st. “Early to bed, early to rise. Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”
In bed by midnight, out of bed by 6 am.
Can’t forget the sacred saying.

I am the access to peace, love and serenity.

In other news.
She doesn’t trust me anymore.
A consequence of thinking that I can give him the benefit of the doubt.
I was wrong in so many ways.
It seems I have to prove myself yet again.

Disappointing.

In other, other, news.
Wondering where the relationship is going.
I get creating my experience and that I have a say in how it goes.
I can’t tell him what he wants.
I can only tell hiim what I want.
I can hope for agreement and it won’t make a difference.

I know he knows what he wants.
Maybe he’s afraid to say or commit?

It hurts.
I hurt.
I wonder if he does inside.

6 am wakey wakeys starting June 1st.
Hm.
How fitting that it’s the first Monday of June.

Here we go.

Official

I’m going to Nursing School.
It makes my stomach turn.
Not because of the fact that it’s nursing school, but because I know what my Mom and Dad are giving up for me to go.
So much is at stake, and I feel as if it’s about time to have sometime so grand at stake.
I can get married.
I can go to medical school after.
There is so much that I can do now that I have the access.
Cry, cry, cry.